Bloom {Into Beautiful}: Turning Down the Volume on Negative Self-Talk

1.24.2019

Turning Down the Volume on Negative Self-Talk




Hello beautiful!
I hope your week has been lovely so far! We have had so much rain here in Tennessee - I am ready for the sunshine! We do have some exciting news here in our home though! My hubby is working on raising money for a mission trip to Stockholm, Sweden! We've set up a Go Fund Me page for him and any amount helps make this happen for him! Click here to donate!

Today I'm sharing my personal struggle with negative self-talk, the effects it can have, and five tips on how to overcome this! This is a subject area that many of y'all wanted me to write about and I was honestly pretty overwhelmed with the response. Being a graduate in Psychology, this is one of the many subjects I studied while getting my degree. It has also been one that I've studied on my own because of the personal struggle I've had with it.

My Struggle with Negative Self-Talk
"You're not good enough."
"You're too fat."
"You'll never be successful like her."
"You're ugly."
"No one likes you."
"You're weak."
"You're a failure."

These may sound like harsh things to say to yourself but more than a few of us have been there. Whether we have realized it or not, we've let that little voice creep in that diminishes us and tears us down. Sometimes these are things we've heard others say to us but other times it's a voice we've placed there all by ourselves.

I struggled with this for years - from my early teens to just a few years ago. I still sometimes hear that voice try to creep its way back in - but I don't feed it anymore. I replace the lies with truth from God's Word. There are many scripture-based affirmations on Pinterest that you can find and save to your phone!

Even with knowing the science behind a lot of this, I still know that it ultimately is the enemy trying to destroy us. I also know that the way to overcome things like this is by depending 100% on the Lord. Sometimes that also means seeking help from a therapist that He places in your life. Don't be afraid to ask someone for help. God made us with companions for a reason - to help and care for one another. 

The Effects of Negative Self-Talk
Negative self-talk can really take a toll on us. It can alter our relationships, lead to depression, limit our thinking, and make us believe that perfection is the answer. These are all effects of letting negative self-talk continue.

It can alter our relationships because we become insecure and feel as though no one likes us. This will cause us to pull away from people around us - even those that we love. Lack of communication in a relationship is kryptonite. We need that connection with those we are in relationship with - whether that be a spouse/significant other, mom/dad, brother/sister, or friends/coworkers.

It can also lead to depression. If you are feeling depressed, it's best to seek professional help for this. Depression is a growing problem in the nation and across the world. Don't be afraid to let someone know you feel this way and don't let negative self-talk reach the point of leading you into depression.

It can limit our thinking. This means that we begin to place our thinking in a "box" because we are constantly feeding these same negative thoughts to our brain over and over again. The more you tell yourself something, the more you believe it, and the more you believe it the more real that seems to you not only in your mind but also in your daily life.

It makes us believe perfection is the answer. We, as women especially, are always trying to do our best. There's nothing wrong with trying to do your best at different things in life but when negative self-talk is our push for that, there is a problem. When we feed those thoughts to ourselves, we begin to make that reality and truly think that what we are thinking is true. For example, when you tell yourself that "I'll never be successful like her", you are placing her as the only form of success. This in turn leads to us trying to reach that form of "perfection" we have placed in our mind.

As you can see, the effects of negative self-talk are devastating. It's a problem that I wish we could all be freed from but there's also a process to that. Below I've shared a few tips to help you overcome that voice that says you aren't good enough. You can overcome this - with or without a therapist - and start to live the life you were made to.

Five Tips for Overcoming Negative Self-Talk
1. Give the critic a name
Sound a little crazy? Maybe it is but it's been proven to work. Giving that negative voice a name (mine is Sophia - Golden Girls fan over here) will separate it from belonging to YOU. This negative talk isn't coming from you so don't associate it with your name.

2. Talk back
Yep. Getting crazier up in here, y'all! Tell that voice "SHUT UP, SOPHIA!" I promise you she'll listen. Because you're not feeding her. You're not entertaining the words that she is whispering in your ear. You are fighting back and not giving up.

3. Replace the lies with truth
As I told you above, I love to speak affirmations aloud from Scripture when the negativity tries to creep back in. I have found that this will bring me where I need to be focused - on Jesus - and not on whatever is causing the negativity to run rampant in my mind.

4. Talk with a friend or therapist
Let someone know what's going on inside of there! When those thoughts pop into your mind, share with a friend or therapist what you are hearing. They will always come back to you with positivity and try to enlighten why you may be thinking those things.

5. Pray about it
I'm a firm believer that prayer changes things. I was delivered from severe anxiety through prayer - not a therapist, not drugs, nothing crazy - just sitting in prayer and communion with my Savior. He is ultimately the answer to any problems we may face. His Word is also a great guide book to live by. If you're not comfortable with prayer - ask someone to pray for you or with you. If you ever need a prayer request to be heard - I'm here.

Thank you for reading this super long post! I'm so proud if you've made it this far! But this is a topic many of you wanted me to share about and I can't ignore what the people want! I'm sharing stories on all of the outfit details on Instagram today too!

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1 comment:

  1. You are gorgeous!! Thanks for posting this and opening up to us! So many us go through this on a daily basis!!

    ReplyDelete